


Dearly Detested

by Cyan (vehicroids)



Category: South Park
Genre: Arranged Marriage, Kyman Week 2018, M/M, South Park: The Stick of Truth, Stick of Truth AU
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-01
Updated: 2019-01-21
Packaged: 2019-05-31 22:46:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 19,247
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15129398
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vehicroids/pseuds/Cyan
Summary: With the kingdom of blood elves and the dark kindgom joining forces, Eric had an idea that Kyle absolutely hated. But he wasn't sure he had any other choice.(Originally written for Kyman week. Day/Chapter 1 - Games; Day/Chapter 2 - fight - Day/Chapter 3 - Teamwork. All other chapters updated as and when I can.)





	1. Chapter 1

The war between the drow elves and the humans had ended over a year ago, the stick lost, and peace returned to the land. For how long, no one knew - the wizard king and the high elf were famous for their hatred. They had come to an agreement; no elf enters Kupa Keep without permission, and in turn, no human enters the elven forest without permission. Though the permission rule was laughable, as it was nearly impossible to obtain a passport. Kyle didn’t want random humans into his forest, and he was certain Eric felt the same. Of course, there were few who did hold a passport, but those were all of the wizard king’s entourage, as well as Kyle’s own entourage.

The peace between the two kingdoms was shaky at best. There was always fear that the war would start again, and with the kings’ relationships being so volatile, it would have come as a shock to no one. Kyle was determined to prove them wrong, to show that he could keep civil with Eric.

He and Eric saw each other every month or so. He hated the trip, but it was necessary to keep the peace. He didn’t know what he hated more, entering Kupa Keep, or letting humans inside his forest. He kept his thoughts and comments to himself however, knowing the slightest thing would set Eric off. He didn’t want that. His men deserved peace and prosperity, not another war with humans. This had gone on for too long.

This time, Eric had sent a messenger raven to Kyle to come to Kupa Keep immediately. He considered ignoring it, but he knew he would receive endless ravens if he did. The way to Kupa Keep was silent. Kyle and his men marched on, none of them wanting to do this. He kept his head held high, though turned to make the occasional snide comment to Stan. Stan’s laugh was the only thing keeping Kyle’s spirits up.

The group soon arrived at the gates of Kupa Keep, and Kyle took a quiet breath. It couldn’t have been that important; it was likely that one of his merchants had overcharged him for something. It would’ve been another wasted trip, and Kyle was certain Eric just wanted to test his patience. Well, it was wearing thin.

“Your Majesty,” Scott at the gate nodded - a strange young man, with a rather prominent lisp. “The king is waiting for you.”

Eric could wait forever, as far as Kyle was concerned. He still held his head high, looking down on Scott. “Excellent. Bring me to him.”

He happily lead Kyle to the king's tent, chattering about something. Kyle didn't know what, nor did he care. He tried not to look around; he wasn't fond of the glares from humans. Stan probably had it worse though, a so called race traitor. Stan never mentioned it, but he didn’t mention a lot of things.

Stan took his place with Eric’s paladin by the entrance to the war tent, acting as a guard. Leopold the Merciful, though there was a hidden sharpness under that doughy exterior. He seemed to have taken a shine to Stan, always engaging him in conversation. Stan had told Kyle he was just humouring the paladin, but from his eyes lit up when he saw him, he wasn't so sure. It didn't matter as long as he was happy, but Kyle would never trust another human. Leopold was no exception.

Kyle pulled back the curtain, spotting Eric pouring over a map. He didn't know what he was planning and, truth be told, he didn't want to know. He cast a glance over at Kyle and gave him a wide smile. There was something sinister about that smile, there always was. He grabbed his staff, moving over to Kyle.

“How nice of you to join me,” Eric said.

Though he was the larger of the pair, he was also the tallest, towering over Kyle with ease. Kyle sneered, tightening the grip around his own staff. He wouldn't need it, but it made him feel better to have it on hand. Eric pressed the tip of his staff to under Kyle's jaw, raising it up to force him to look up at him.

“We're hitting dark times, Kyle, and I believe you're the only person who can help me,” Eric said.

_ Kyle _ . Ever since the elves lost the war, Eric believed he had a right to disrespect him. Kyle squared his jaw, knowing when to pick his fights and when to drop them.

“What is it?” Kyle asked, clearly annoyed.

“Well I'm sorry that I pulled you out of your tree-hugging lifestyle for something important,” Eric tutted, turning back to the map. “Come look at this. I think you’ll find it interesting.”

Kyle walked over to the map. Little figures were used to represent different armies. Little blue ones for humans, and green ones for elves. Purple ones for the kingdom of the dark king, and red ones for…

“Blood elves,” Kyle said quietly, picking up one of the figurines.

“That’s right. They’ve been moving closer and closer, and here’s the worrying thing.” Eric frowned, gesturing to the dark kingdom. “King Clyde and Queen Bebe are making plans to form a union.”

Kyle exhaled softly, putting the figurine down. Everyone knew the danger of the dark kingdom, how Clyde had obtained a dark power - necromancy. It was a banned form of magic among both Kupa Keep and the elven forest, but Clyde clearly made his own rules.

The blood elves were strong, too, there was no doubt. The queen was ruthless, and her shieldmaiden was not to be fucked with. The blood elves and drow elves were ancient races, with a rivalry spanning before humans were even conceived. Kyle thought most of them extinct, however they were just in hiding. He heard rumours of Bebe and her strength, and frankly, he didn’t want to witness it. He looked up at Eric.

“So what? Clyde isn’t a threat,” Kyle said.

“Oh no?” Eric arched an eyebrow. “I’ve heard Clyde found the stick.”

That damn Stick of Truth. Kyle knew they should have just destroyed it. He shook his head, staring at the map.

“Shit,” Kyle sighed. “You don’t call me unless you have a plan. So what is it?”

“It’s simple. I know neither of us can take Clyde down alone, and if the union goes through, it’s game over. I know my army can’t do it, and your army of pussies? Clyde would tear through them,” Eric said.

“Your point?” Kyle said through a clenched jaw. He hated when Eric talked shit about his people.

“We form our own union.”

A union. Kyle’s jaw dropped, this brow creased. He knew what this meant; marrying into the human society. Eric held out his hand to him, and Kyle took a step back.

“Fuck off,” Kyle spat. He was usually against swearing, but there was something about Eric that brought out the worst in the elf king. “What you’re asking will anger everyone. In case you haven’t noticed, humans and elves hate each other. They’ll demand our heads for this. Are you insane?”

“You and Stan don’t seem to hate each other,” Eric said plainly.

“Because he’s more elf than human after you cast him out.”

Eric frowned, realising his plan wasn’t going as he wanted it to. Kyle folded his arms over his chest. He wasn’t doing this, no matter what Eric said. He had talked him into a lot of stupid things, but this was definitely the worst.

“When are you gonna let that go? He wasn’t homeless, he had you to fall back on, didn’t he?” Eric asked.

He leaned against the table, palms pressed flat on the wood. He looked up at Kyle; even bent over like this, there was always something menacing about Eric. Kyle supposed it was due to how calculating and cold he could be.

“The quickest way to make the elves and humans work together is to form a union between their leaders, especially when we’re in danger like this. Do you think I want this, Kyle? I hate this just as much as you do.”

“This is insane. It’s not happening. I’m not marrying you - I have too much respect for my people to join with  _ you, _ ” Kyle spat.

He had enough of listening to Eric spew bullshit at him. He turned on his heel, moving over to the exit.

“Wait!” Eric called, and Kyle stopped. “Listen to me. When Clyde comes with his army, you won’t have people left. And those who survive? They’ll be cursing your name. Why didn’t our king try everything he could to save us? Why couldn’t he just swallow his pride for five minutes.” Eric sighed. “You know I wouldn’t ask if it wasn’t our only shot.”

Kyle hated when Eric was right. He hated how often he was right, as well. This time, Kyle knew he was right, he just didn’t want to admit it. He balled his hand into a fist, turning back to Eric.

“We do things my way.” Kyle said, moving closer to Eric. “An elven ceremony. I refuse to live here, so you’ll stay with the elves until this is over. I know the princess can hold the for here.”

Kyle had seen the princess in action for himself. He had been met with Kenny’s bow and arrow far too many times, and he could still feel the arrow in his stomach from their last meeting. It had healed, but he could definitely still remember it. He knew if Kenny wanted him dead, he would have been.

“Aren’t you demanding?” Eric snorted. “Fine. If that’s what it takes for you to do this with me, then we’ll do things on your terms.”

He held out his hand once again for Kyle to take, and Kyle hesitated. He didn’t want to do this. The thought of taking his hand was enough to make his skin crawl. But his was bigger than him, bigger than his pride. Kyle breathed in, taking Eric’s hand.

“Yes. I’ll marry you, Eric.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You know what?? It's nice writing for myself again. ... but I need to stop writing South Park fic lol. I kinda wanna continue this? I don't know, maybe. It'd only be a couple of chapters extra though. Or I could use the prompts from the rest of the week. Actually... I totally could.
> 
> Follow me on [Tumblr](http://vehicroids.tumblr.com)!


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so I made it into a mini multichapter fic. So what? :D ;;; I'll be doing this with day 3 too then... who knows? We'll see. :3c When I carry it on properly the chapters will be longer tho I don't like having these baby chapters > w>
> 
> Follow me on [Tumblr](http://vehicroids.tumblr.com)!

Thunder crashed above the forest, and normally, this would be a threat. For the elves, masters in magic, they were used to the natural temper tantrums. They cast a shield over the forest, protecting it from attack, and carried on with their lives. That did not stop the humans from startling in fright, expecting to be struck at any moment. There weren’t many humans, just the handful that Eric trusted to stick around. The elves ignored them, their heads too far up their asses.

As elves could sense the forest, the forest could sense the elves, and it sensed the king the strongest. The forest reacted accordingly, bringing down the same wrath that Kyle felt in his heart. With Eric in his kingdom, his palace, it was difficult to keep his calm. Kyle knew what was going on outside, and he knew the shield wouldn’t hold forever, but Eric was testing Kyle’s patience.

Eric had made himself at home, which usually would not be a problem. But this was Eric, so it was a problem. He was already making demands to change the decor, and he was already making decisions without consulting Kyle. He would not let Eric walk all over him, not when they were supposedly equals, but he needed to be diplomatic about it. The anger was building inside of him, the only release was from the thunder outside, but it wasn’t much.

“Ugh,” Eric groaned, “can you tell your stupid forest to knock it off? I have a huge headache.”

“This  _ stupid forest _ is my home, and supposedly, yours too when we're married,” Kyle spat.

“Whatever, just get it to stop.”

A bolt of thunder struck the shield above the palace, Kyle's anger reaching its peak. He didn’t know how one creature could be so petulant and so disrespectful. His jaw clenched, and if Eric didn’t stop being an ass, Kyle was sure his jaw would lock into place.

“Could you at least show a little bit of respect?” Kyle asked through gritted teeth.

The humans were not kind to the forest. While elves left nothing but footprints, humans left nothing but waste. Kyle was horrified when his men had come back to report this to him. Of course the humans would be so disgusting. With every passing moment, Kyle was regretting his choice.

“You're so demanding,” Eric said.

“ _ I'm _ demanding?” Kyle spluttered. “Who's the one who's trying to change my whole home into a second Kupa Keep?”

“There, you see, it’s all about you, isn’t it?  _ Your _ home,” he said. “Who's the one who's demanding shit his way? All I'm asking for is for some kind of freedom--"

“You have freedom!” A clap of thunder sounded overhead, startling Eric, but fuelling Kyle. “You have everything you could want, but you still want more. You have made my army yours, without even asking. You want my cooperation, and you have it. My hand in marriage? You will have it. But you are taking this too far. You’re being a spoilt brat, taking the forest - and me - for granted.

There was fear in Eric's eyes, but he didn't back off. No, he never did - Eric was stubborn to a fault. That was perhaps the only thing the two kings had in common.

“You have been calling all the shots. We have been following your plans this whole time. But I will not let you turn my home into a second Kupa Keep,” Kyle said, trying to keep his tone even.

“Holy shit, fine, get the sand out of your vagina.”

Kyle saw red. He wasn't sure what it was, whether it was just how little Eric cared about his grievances, or if Kyle just couldn't stand to see his face anymore. He wouldn’t shout, he wouldn’t give Eric the satisfaction.

“Out.” Kyle pointed to the door. “This was a terrible idea, and I don’t know why I even thought this was a good idea. Just get out.”

Eric looked at the door, then at Kyle. “Wait, Kyle, you’re making a mistake--"

“The mistake was saying yes to you in the first place.” Kyle pointed again. “Out. Take your trash with you.”

Eric looked like he was going to say something else, but he didn't. Instead, he turned to leave without further argument for the first time in his life. Kyle was glad that he could listen to something for once, even if it was the last thing he ever said to Eric. He fought to stabilise his mood - Eric had put him in such an awful mood. Kyle locked himself in his chambers, requiring peace for the rest of the day. The storm eventually ended, though instead it left showers.

The rain carried on for days afterwards. The ground was soaked, and it was easy to lose a boot in the mud. So Stan said - Kyle hadn't been outside. He didn’t have the time to check for himself. Kyle now had everything to run alone once more, especially try to form a plan for his army.

Kyle had screwed himself over, and he knew that. He wasn't about to swallow his pride and apologise to Eric, not after everything. Their alliance would never work if they kept acting like this. Instead, Kyle had to figure out a strategy to stop both attacking kingdoms himself, knowing there was no way Eric would help now. Hell, he would probably join them. Then the elves would truly be wiped out.

There was a gentle rap at the door, and Kyle sighed. “Not now, Stan, I'll eat in a little while.”

The door opened anyway, and Kyle turned to tell Stan off. But it wasn't Stan, it was Princess Kenny. Through her mouth was covered, Kyle could see the frown in her eyes. He eased up; she had no involvement in this, there was no need to take this out on her. She grabbed something out of his field of view, pulling it in. It was Eric, squawking in displeasure.

“Your majesty,” Kyle said plainly, doing his best to look down on him.

Kenny pushed Eric into the room. “Now just talk to him, instead of crying.”

And with that, the princess was gone. Kyle folded his arms over his chest, waiting to hear what this was about. He should just kick Eric out, but Kyle just loved pissing himself off, he supposed. He watched Eric without a word, waiting for him to say something stupid. Looking into his eyes, Eric’s eyes did look bloodshot. Maybe Kenny wasn’t just making a joke.

“Kyle-- your majesty,” Eric corrected himself. He never called him that, not without a tone laced in sarcasm, and it sounded wrong to Kyle. He didn't trust the sudden respect. He sighed, glancing away, before looking back over at Kyle. “I'm sorry, okay? I'm sorry for being a dick, and I'm sorry I've been a shitty king. I've gotten my men to clean up the forest and to make sure everything was the way it was before we invaded.”

“Thank you,” Kyle said. “Is that all?”

Eric hesitated. Kyle would never admit it, but he hoped that Eric would ask for a second chance. From the looks of his plans, he was screwed. They both would be.

“You and I both know we need each other, but that doesn't mean we have to be dicks about it. This should be an equal partnership,” Eric said.

That came as a surprise. He didn't think Eric was capable of treating anyone like an equal. Then again, he didn't think Eric was capable of remorse, either, but he seemed genuine enough. Maybe Kyle was just stupid and naive when it came to Eric - it wouldn’t have been the first time he had Kyle like this.

“Last chance, Eric,” Kyle said. “No more of this shit.”

“It wouldn't kill you to admit you're wrong as well,” he mumbled, likely thinking Kyle wouldn’t hear him.

And Eric was right, again. Kyle didn't want to swallow his pride, especially for someone like him. However, he had no other say. He dug his fingers into his arms, glancing away.

“I can admit I was wrong,” Kyle said quietly. “But we need to stop. You’re right, this is a partnership, and we’re supposed to be equals. We need to share, we need to talk things out. No more just taking.”

Eric huffed. “Fine. I can swallow my pride if you can.”

Kyle didn't want to, but he would do what he would have to for his people. If that meant behaving for this asshole, then fine.

“I can swallow my pride for my people,” Kyle said.

The rain had finally stopped.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So!! This is the second to last part of the fic I'll be writing for Kyman Week. The rest will be written when uh... I have time. Judging by my schedule, expect it done in 2020 lmao. But if you wanna check out the rest of my works in the meantime for Kyman Week, I'll likely post them solely on Tumblr [here](http://vehicroids.tumblr.com/tagged/Kyman-Week)!

“Are you sure you wanna do this?” Stan asked, adjusting Kyle's clothes for him.

“Does it look like I have a choice?” Kyle sighed.

He had ended a thousand year war for them at the cost of his own pride by negotiating with Eric. Kyle would have done anything for his people, even marry into humankind if it gave the elven people a chance to survive. Yet when he saw himself in the mirror, stood in green ceremonial robes, he couldn't help but frown in revulsion. No one hated this like Kyle did, except for maybe Eric himself.

“I can't believe you're doing this,” Stan laughed. “I never thought I'd see you get married.”

“I never wanted to,” Kyle said.

It was the truth. He had no interest in taking a wife, though he knew he would have had to. Kyle had been putting it off and putting it off. Maybe if he knew he would have ended up here, he would have hurried a little more with finding someone. At least he couldn't create an heir with Eric; that could wait for his inevitable second marriage. Kyle knew that, as an elf, he would outlive Eric by a handful of lifetimes. In a way, it was good - he wouldn’t be spending the rest of his life with him.

Kyle was aware he was being a dick, but he also didn't care. Eric was probably saying worse about him to his own people, making his own jokes. Maybe with some luck, he would drop dead before the ceremony. Kyle tried not to smirk at the thought - Stan would know what he  was thinking about. He sighed, placing the crown on his head before turning to face Stan again.

“And we’re secure?” Kyle asked.

He knew there was no point in the extra security. The enemy was still far according to Eric’s calculations, and Kyle would know if there were intruders. He always knew, and it had given him an extra edge more than once. It just made Eric feel safer, and if it helped ease him, Kyle was happy to play along. The last thing they wanted was for both grooms to be highly strung. Kyle would just be stressed enough for two.

“Yeah, don’t worry,” Stan said, hand on Kyle’s shoulder. “We’ve got humans and elves watching out everywhere. Plus, I’ll be there, and you know I’ll kick ass.”

Kyle laughed. “I know. I trust you.”

A part of him wished for another arrow in the gut, something where he would die before he could marry Eric. Kyle needed to stop being so morbid, it would do him no good.

Stan clicked his tongue, reaching up to adjust the crown on Kyle’s head. Kyle rolled his eyes, but didn’t try to hide the smile. Stan was always good at ensuring Kyle didn’t look like a mess, and especially for his wedding, he did not disappoint. Stan was his best friend, and even now, he stood loyally at Kyle’s side. For that, he was grateful.

He held out his arm for Kyle to hold, and he tried to smile at Stan before he took it. Normally this would have been his mother or father, but his mother had passed, and his father… No one talked about Gerald. Kyle would rather have his best friend than his father, anyway. Kyle held his head up high, as he always did, before leaving the tent.

An elven wedding wasn’t terribly different from a human wedding. An elven one was held outside, regardless of the weather - though rain on a wedding was a sign of bad luck. There was supposedly a storm when Kyle’s parents married, and he didn’t doubt it.

Each side had a tent to dress and prepare in, to avoid them seeing each other. He was told this was similar to human tradition, so Eric couldn't complain too much. He would have complained anyway, because this was Eric.

Despite everything, sunlight beamed through the trees, breaking up the darkness of the forest. Kyle expected rain, thunder, _something._ But it was a sunny day, and remained sunny all the way up to the ceremony. He supposed not every old wives tale was accurate. Kyle clung to Stan's arm tighter than he intended to, fingers digging into the crook of his arm. Kyle was physically weak, and Stan was strong, so ultimately it did no damage.

“Ready?” Stan asked, smiling. The smile did not ease the bile rising up.

“Will I ever be ready to marry him?”

Stan laughed softly, in a way to soothe Kyle. Kyle just wanted to let go of Stan and run away, call the wedding off. If he was quick enough, he might be able to strike a deal with the enemy. But pulling a stunt like that would be war, and Kyle didn't think his people would survive an attack from the humans. This was the only way for both kingdoms.

The ceremony itself was laid out differently than a human one. Instead of one person coming down the aisle with a whole party, both grooms would come down from different sides and converge in the middle. The audience sat on either side of the aisle, both families merging into one group. Kyle preferred it this way, though Eric protested that the human way was better. He would rather not be paraded down the aisle like a human bride, and he knew that was what Eric would have wanted.

The guests were seated, though there was only a handful in attendance. Kyle peeked through the trees, his anxiety hitting the roof. No fights were breaking out, and humans sat among elves. Hell, some of them were even talking and laughing. Kyle smiled, relieved. Maybe this would work, after all. He squeezed Stan's arm, before they took their position.

There was one thing Eric insisted on, and Kyle conceded to. Leopold would be hosting the ceremony, despite the poor paladin’s protests of not knowing anything about elf culture. Thankfully, Stan had stepped in and offered to teach him. Kyle had smiled at him - he was no longer even trying to hide his crush.

Eric and Kyle stood at opposing ends of the aisle, staring at each other. Kyle looked over at Stan briefly, as if to say _get me out of here_. Stan ignored that and took the first step, and Kyle just had to follow. He gripped Stan's arm as tightly as he could, eyes on his almost-husband. There was no joy in this day, not for Kyle. He released Stan once they were close to the middle, though he would have rather held him the whole time.

The pair met in the middle, and after a moment's pause, they grabbed each others’ hands. Eric's hands felt huge in his smaller ones, not to mention a little sweaty. Kyle tried hard not to frown and wipe his hands on his robe. He remained expressionless, staring up at Eric.

He listened to Leopold drone on, reading part of it from a script that Stan had helped him with. Kyle just wanted him to skip to the end, but they had traditions to uphold. He tried hard not to look bored, but he noticed Eric was having the same problem. Funny, Kyle was convinced Eric would've been happier than this by the way he was acting.

Kyle heard a shuffle in the trees, but shrugged it off. An animal, most likely. He ignored it, trying instead to focus on the endless droning. When would it finally end?

Something whizzed over Kyle's head, though it hit Eric's hat and knocked it to the floor. It was an arrow - it had pieced the blue fabric and kept it pinned to the soil. Kyle and Eric both shared a look, squeezing their hands before letting go. Bad news.

“We've got company,” Kyle announced, both to Eric and to the audience.

As the audience grabbed their weapons, the attackers showed themselves, and Kyle gasped softly. Pointed ears, though at a lower angle - they had to be blood elves. It explained why he couldn't sense an intrusion. This was their home just as much as it was his own.

“I bring a message from my king and my queen. Do not bow for the disgrace you call kings, and do not fight for them,” one of the blood elves spat. “Surrender, and you will gain more power than you ever thought possible.”

A _thunk_ sounded in the air, a whizz following it. The arrow made a crack as it pierced through the blood elf’s ribs, going through to his heart. The blood elf fell to the floor, crashing into the foliage below. There was no way he survived the fall. Beside Eric stood Kenny, her bow drawn and reloading with another arrow. Negotiations were out, then.

“Come on,” Eric urged, looking at Kyle.

“Let's bring these assholes down from the trees,” Kyle said.

He pulled his staff from its hiding place under his robes. He didn't think he would need it, but he was glad he brought it. Eric had clearly thought the same, holding his own weapon.

This wasn't what Kyle wanted. He just wanted to get married in peace - or just have the peace. Now here he was, side by side with his fiancé, at the edge of a war that would consume them all. To say he was terrified was an understatement.

Kyle's magic was more defensive, while Eric was more offensive. Kyle made sure to keep them alive, while Eric made sure to burn the enemy alive. There was a glimmer in his eyes, and something told Kyle that Eric was enjoying this too much. Eric was always terrifying to face against precisely for that reason.

Kyle dodged too many arrows, and had too many close calls. He felt an arrow graze against the skin of his cheek, now painfully aware of his own mortality. He struggled to keep himself safe, along with Eric, but he managed. He prayed they would make it out of here in one piece.

Eric blasted an enemy behind Kyle, who had almost plunged his dagger in Kyle’s back. Kyle smiled at him briefly, promising himself he would thank Eric later. Kyle made sure Eric was constantly protected, forming a shield around him. It required most of Kyle's focus, but he knew what he was doing. He had done this a thousand times.

At least, he thought he knew what he was doing.

Something hit Kyle in his back, between his shoulder blades, but he didn't register the pain at first. His focus was on Eric, just Eric. When the edges his vision began to blur, that was when the pain hit. Kyle dropped to one knee, groaning. The shield around Eric burst, shattering into white shards. He looked around, ready to yell at Kyle before he saw him. His face fell.

“Butters!” Eric called. “Get over here!”

Eric ran over to Kyle, with Leopold soon joining him. He formed a shield around the three of them, but Kyle knew it wouldn't hold for long. He knew he was dying. Eric reached for the arrow in Kyle's back, but Leopold stopped him, shaking his head. They were running out of time. If Kyle was going to die, he didn't want to die in vain. He grabbed Eric's hands suddenly, gripping them as tightly as he could.

“I need-- fuck, I need someone who can lead us,” Kyle said, hissing through the pain. “I might die here, I might not, but I wanna finish what we started. We need to make this official.”

“Are you fucking insane?” Eric scoffed. “We're in the middle of a fight! This can wait.”

Kyle scowled at him. “You-- you think elves will listen to you? When you aren't even officially one of us?” He shook his head. “We need to do this, and it has to be now. I know I can trust you to help us, otherwise we wouldn't be here in the first place.” He looked at Leopold. “Do it.”

Leopold blinked, glancing out at the chaos past the bubble. He was likely thinking about the people out there, the time they were wasting. Kyle could understand, but he wouldn’t have said anything if he didn’t think this was necessary. The union had to be formed before it was too late. The elves needed a leader, and if that leader was the king of Kupa Keep, it was good enough. Kyle knew what Eric was capable of after fighting against him, time and time again. This time, it was an honour to just fight side by side.

“Eric, do you take Kyle to be your husband?” Leopold asked, knowing he had to rush. No vows, no time.

“Yeah,” Eric nodded.

“Kyle, do you--"

“Yes!” Kyle snapped. He didn’t have long left, he didn’t need to waste time with formalities.

“Then uh-- I pronounce you married.”

Kyle pulled Eric in for a brief kiss, rough and hard, before pushing him away. “Go. Save our people.”

Eric looked at Kyle with a nod, and Leopold broke the shield. Kyle let out a shaky sigh, the world around him finally going black. He fell face forwards into the ground, and he knew this was his end. However, he knew he would die doing the right thing for his people.


	4. Chapter 4

“ _ Cartman! _ ”

His name was barked out as Stan approached him after the battle. What happened wasn't Eric's fault, but it didn't matter. Stan needed someone to blame, and that someone would be Eric. To him, his royal blood didn't matter - Eric had caused this.

“You dare speak to your king like that?” Eric scoffed.

“You're not my king. You're a fat fuck who married my best friend, and got him killed. You--"

“Fellas!” Leopold interrupted, his brow furrowed. “I-- I'm sorry, your majesty, but-- but this ain't the time to be fighting, not when…” he looked over at Kyle.

Stan and Eric nodded, and their feud was dropped. They could argue about this later, behind closed doors.

The blood elves had gone - either killed or escaped - and medics surrounded the fallen king. There was a shared apprehension among the army, knowing there was a chance Kyle was dead. Eric pushed past, crouching down to Kyle's lifeless body. He touched him, and his body was ice cold. Eric's eyes widened.

“What the hell are you all waiting for?” Eric scoffed. “You can't let him die!”

“Your majesty, we're doing the best we--"

“Do better, God dammit!”

The king had to be pulled away - a joint effort between Scott and Stan. No one could say for sure why Eric cared so much, though some suspected it was just a front. It may well have been, but the way the king screamed on that day felt far too real.

***

Kyle gasped for air, his lungs burning like they had been unused for months. Breathing was a conscious effort, but that wasn't what Kyle was focusing on. How was he breathing? How was he  _ alive _ ?

Kyle opened his eyes slowly, taking in the surroundings. This was his room, he was in his bed. But this couldn't be real. He was laying on the floor in his forest, dying. Eric and Leopold had left him there, as per his instruction. They had left him to bleed out alone. His lungs were on fire, his back felt awful, but he was alive. Somehow, he was fine.

“Your majesty?”

The soft, unsure voice caught Kyle off guard. He flinched, trying to move back but his back betrayed him. He groaned, readjusting himself. He looked to his side, and two pairs of bright blue eyes stared at him. It was almost terrifying. Kyle blinked before realising it was only Stan and Leopold, though what they were doing in Kyle's room remained a mystery. Stan exhaled softly, relief flooding his features.

“What are you two doing in here?” Kyle asked. It was his room. The only people allowed in here were Stan and, supposedly, Eric. Though if he could avoid that, he would.

“I asked Leo to pray with me,” Stan mumbled, glancing over at Leopold. “He’s a paladin, so I thought that two of us together might work.”

Ah. For all of his insistence on giving up human culture, there were some beliefs Stan could not let go of. It helped that the paladin was cute, and that Stan couldn't seem to be about to stay away from him. Leopold smiled, releasing Stan’s hand and standing up. He bowed to Kyle respectfully.

“I'll go fetch the king, your majesty,” he said, before running off.

Leopold closed the door behind him, and Kyle sank back into the pillows. There was no use pretending he was alright in front of Stan, not when he saw through him already. He sighed, closing his eyes. When it was just them, he could unload the weight of the world like a heavy coat. He needed rest, not Eric, and not work. As king, however, he knew he could not afford to rest.

“Kyle?” Stan asked softly. “Are you okay?”

“Holy shit dude,” Kyle sighed, running a hand through his hair. “I thought I was gonna die.”

Stan looked away, wincing. “You did die. The healers did what they could to revive you, but in the end, it was Leo who saved you.”

A human was the one to save his life. To Kyle, that seemed ironic. Two years ago, Kyle had tried to kill Leopold, though he had missed his shot, and now Leopold had saved Kyle's life. He would need to thank him, and the rest of the healers, properly.

“I'm glad you're okay, dude. I thought this was gonna be it. I had to try  _ something _ to make sure you’d be alright. I know you hate human practices, but it's better than just leaving you to die,” Stan said.

“I know. It's fine, Stan, I appreciate it,” Kyle said, looking over at Stan with a smile.

Kyle felt like he had been physically dragged up from the deepest pits of Hell and back up to the surface. For all he knew, that was what happened. He was so tired, he needed to sleep for a day. But the duties of a king were never done, and if his people heard he was alive but doing nothing, they would think ill of him.

He sat up slowly, knowing Eric would soon come in. Like hell would Kyle let him know how much he was suffering. Stan put a hand on his shoulder.

“Kyle, no. You need to lie down. No one is gonna be pissed because you need to--"

“Maybe not,” Kyle said, shrugging off Stan's hand. “But I'll judge myself. How can I be a leader from my bed?”

“Please, Kyle."

The door opened, and Kyle immediately forced himself up and out of bed. Pain shot up his back,and it took everything in his power not to cry out. His feet touched the floor, the flooring cold to the touch. His legs were jelly, threatening to give way under him. Kyle's hand found the back of Stan's chair, using that for balance. He looked over at the door and, as expected, it was Eric. Stan quickly excused himself, leaving just the kings in the room. Kyle really, really wished Stan hadn’t left, but he wouldn't ask him to stay.

Eric looked at him like he had seen a ghost, his eyes wide. Kyle turned away from him, fetching clothes for himself. There was something off about being in his bed clothes with Eric around, and the sooner he could get dressed, the better.

“Shouldn't you be resting?” Eric asked.

“I should also be dead,” he hummed, “but I'm still alive. I'm alive because I have things to do, and I don’t have time to relax.”

Eric clicked his tongue, disapproving. “You came back from the dead, and you're still going.”

“I've come back from near death before, after the hundreds of times  _ you _ have nearly killed me. You can't keep me down.”

Kyle picked up a set of robes, hanging them from the crook of his arm. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Eric frowning at him. He could disapprove as much as he wanted, but this was his way. Kyle would be fine.

“Are you gonna let me get dressed or not?” Kyle asked. “I don't have time to wait for you.”

“I'm not watching. I don't wanna see you naked.” Eric turned away.

Kyle began to undress, turning his back to Eric. “You're one to talk about stubbornness.”

“Yet I still don't have your level of pride,” Eric snorted.

Kyle doubted that. They were both stubborn and both just as prideful as each other - it was why their war had lasted so long. If anything, Kyle was the less prideful of the two. Though he was thinking this while he was stubbornly trying to dress himself, despite the pain. The wound on his back hadn’t healed yet, but it would be fine soon. He promised himself he would take it easy - or at least easier - as soon as he had done what he needed to.

“Holy shit, hurry up,” Eric said.

“How about, instead of being an ass, you go round up the forces?” Kyle said.

“You can't seriously think of addressing them right after waking up.”

Kyle hissed a sigh. “Don't argue with me and go.”

Eric paused, but he left without another word. As soon as the door closed, Kyle sat on his bed with a huff. This was going to be far harder than he had anticipated. He had been through worse, and he had survived. This was just another near death he could add to the list.

Kyle was finally dressed, and he looked in the mirror. He looked pale, almost dead, and while normally this would bother him, he smiled at his reflection. Kyle looked like he had risen from the dead. He left himself looking like a mess, grabbing the staff by his bed. Kyle would need that to lean on.

He made his way out to the balcony, feeling faint. Kyle took slow, deep breaths. It was too much and too soon, but he was too proud to back down now. He could hear them all, calling his name, and it was making his head dizzy. He saw Stan, who looked at him in concern but said nothing. He knew Kyle would not listen. Instead, Stan opened the door for him.

“Your king lives!” Stan announced.

This was met with thunderous applause and cheers. Kyle took a moment to collect himself, standing tall and proud. He stepped onto the balcony, overlooking the humans and elves who cheered for him. He couldn't believe the reaction he received, and it made him glad he decided to ignore his body.

Kyle would need to keep his address short, because he wasn't sure how long he could stand for. Seeing Kyle falter now would ruin everything, and he could not let that happen.

“They thought we would fall easily, but we will not. They thought we would surrender, but we will not. They thought they could kill me, but I stand before you, alive and well.” Kyle held out his arms, emphasising his point. “They think they will win this war, but I know that if I can rise from my own grave, then nothing will hold us down. Your kings will lead you to victory.” He rose his staff to the air, even though this was the only thing keeping him upright. “Together, we will win!”

His speech was met with cheers, and Kyle was glad. He smiled down at his people, proud to be able to call them his own. He nodded, the troops successfully rallied, before going back inside. Kyle knew he couldn't stand there for much longer. He had lasted just long enough before his body finally gave up, falling to one knee. Kyle needed to get up and drag his sorry ass back to his room, but his stupid body would not respond.

“Kyle!” Eric shouted.

Kyle just wanted the floor to swallow him whole. Eric had seen him, and he was coming over. No one needed to see him looking so pathetic. Kyle held out the palm of his hand to Eric, halting him. Surprisingly, Eric stopped.

“Don't. I'm fine,” he said, still trying to pull himself up.

“I wasn't gonna help, but whatever,” Eric shook his head. “God, look at you. Proud until the very end.”

Kyle stood, though his legs didn't want to. Kyle knew he was weak, and he knew he couldn’t keep going like this. He wouldn't stop, no matter what. He couldn't. Kyle would rather die trying.

“You trust me enough to guide our kingdoms when you die, but you don't trust me to help you up,” Eric said matter-of-factly.

“It’s different. One of them I actually have a say in,” Kyle said.

“You're so fucking stupid!” Eric laughed. “No wonder you elves never stood a chance against us.”

Kyle grit his teeth, brandishing his middle finger at Eric before turning away. He didn't have time for this, nor was he in the mood.

***

Kyle had been better, but he had also been worse. He avoided people where possible, fearing someone would see how much he was struggling. As far as anyone knew, he was doing better. That was what Kyle wanted people to believe, and his pride would not falter.

Kyle oversaw the training - it was about all he could do - while Eric busied himself with combat strategies. Kyle was proud to see their people working together, elves side by side with humans. He had grown used to seeing the races at was, but it was still strange to see the change. This was a change for the better.

Or so he hoped.

In the evenings, Eric retreated to his own room to sleep. There was no use pretending this marriage was anything but diplomatic, and Kyle did not want to share his bed with Eric. They stayed out of each other's way, and that was exactly how Kyle liked it. The less he had to see of Eric, the better.

They talked at meal times, the conversations mostly awkward pleasantries or updates on their projects. Both races were learning a lot from each other with training, and Eric's battle strategy was coming together. Their army would be larger than the enemy's, but with the stick on the other side, Eric and Kyle knew better than to underestimate them.

“Do you think we even stand a chance?” Kyle asked in a whisper over dinner.

“Are you serious? We're gonna kick their asses and take back the stick,” Eric laughed. “Don't pussy out on me.”

Kyle frowned, rubbing his temple. “That stick… What the hell are we gonna do about it? Not after we get it back, but if Clyde comes here with that--"

“Will you just relax for five seconds? Get the sand out of your ass.”

Kyle grit his teeth. Did Eric not care, or was this just his way of coping with it? Kyle didn't care what it was, he didn't like Eric's attitude. He stabbed his fork into his food, before looking back over at Eric.

“How ready are we?” Kyle asked.

Eric groaned, putting down his cutlery. No, the conversation would not end just because Eric wanted it to. He pinched the bridge of his nose.

“I don't know. How prepared can you be against someone like Clyde? He's the right level of dumb and powerful to be a threat.” Eric sighed. “We know nothing about what he's planned. We don't even know shit about the blood elves.”

That was true. Up until recently, Kyle thought they had died out. He frowned, losing his appetite.

“We need to create stronger allies,” Kyle said. “Our army is strong, but I don't know if it's strong enough. My brother might be able to help.”

“Oh boy, more elves,” Eric said, rolling his eyes.

But that wasn't the case. Ike wasn't human, nor an elf. He was adopted at a young age and passed off for an elf. No one would dare question the queen about it; Ike was just a strange looking elf. It was only when he became older that he realised that the elven forest was not his home. He still wrote to Kyle frequently, and as far as they were concerned, they were brothers.

He returned to his homeland of Canada, where he had met the princess. As Ike was still technically a prince, winning her heart was a simple task. The last time Kyle had seen him was for the wedding, though that was a few years ago.

“I wouldn't call the Prince of Canada an elf if I were you.”

“What. No, we aren't making allies with the fucking Canadians.” Eric looked at him like he had rolled around in the horses’ stables.

In Eric's defence, Kyle could understand his reluctance. Canadians were a strange bunch, and Kyle didn't enjoy being in Canada for long. He much preferred his own forest. But they needed allies, and Kyle knew his brother would be happy to help.

“Fine. We'll die, and it'll be your fault. How's that for too prideful?” Kyle spat. “All because you can't handle your hatred for Canada.”

Eric buried his face in his hands, letting out a long, annoyed groan. “Fine, God. Fine. Send him a messenger raven.”

Kyle smiled to himself. Another battle won.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who? Me? With a sporadic posting schedule? Who'd have thunk it? ... anyone who's read my other longfics lmao. Sorry. Generally I update once a month, so I guess expect that? If that often. Probably not :'D
> 
> Anyway!! With that, please check me out on [Tumblr](http://vehicroids.tumblr.com)!


	5. Chapter 5

Ike had replied to Kyle's letter in record time - he would make the preparations necessary and leave at once. Upon reading it, he felt relief. Their chances were now a miniscule percent, rather than none. Yet Kyle was still feeling hopeless about it all.

Kyle knew that Clyde and Bebe would be coming for any day, and he knew they were running on borrowed time. They weren't ready, but would they ever be? They stood no chance, not against Clyde and that stick. Limitless power at his fingertips, and power like no other. Yet somehow, for now, they remained unscathed. Fate would not stay this kind forever.

Kyle would not share these worries with Eric. What would have been the point? Every attempt to talk was met with a handwave and Eric saying it'll be fine, Kyle just needed to calm down. Kyle hoped Eric would have a plan by now instead of living comfortably on his land. If they somehow survived this, Kyle wasn't dealing with Eric's lazy ass anymore. He would kick him out at the first opportunity.

However, a forceful ejection like that was bound to end in war, which was something Kyle in particular wanted to avoid. He had put in too much work for the elves and humans to fight again.

Kyle wondered about Stan if that were to happen, especially considering his courtship with Leopold. Nothing was stopping Stan from joining the humans again if he really wanted Leopold. But Stan and Kyle were best friends, and just the thought of Stan turning against him... Kyle shook his head. These musings were meaningless. He didn't want to dwell on it.

A week went by without incidents. What was Clyde planning? Maybe he wasn't planning anything, and he was too focused on Bebe to care about invading any territory but hers. That was wishful thinking on Kyle's part. Even if that were the case, Kyle would not underestimate either Clyde or Bebe. He was just stupid enough to do anything she asked. That alone made them a threat.

The clouds above the forest were near impossible to shake, no matter what anyone tried. Kyle didn't know the last time they had a sunny day. His wedding? That felt like an eternity ago, when it hadn't even been a month. Kyle couldn't pinpoint the cause of the forest’s mood. Perhaps it was crying for its inhabitants, or perhaps the cause was entirely unrelated.

If there was one positive, it was that the rain was infrequent. The clouds were bad enough for the crops without adding flooding to the mix.

Kyle went to bed every night expecting to wake up to disaster and ruin. Or worse, he expected not to wake up. Those thoughts kept him up until he eventually passed out from exhaustion. He woke up to the same thing every day - nothing. It was a brief relief, until he remembered it was but a matter of time before that was his reality. Kyle could only hope that, on that day, he would be ready.

But they did not come in the day.

Thunder roared, crashing nearby, jolting Kyle from his sleep. He bolted upright, gripping the fabric of his bed clothes in bunches. He heard footsteps thundering outside his room, and he grabbed his staff. No chances. His bedroom door swung open, and he saw the silhouette of Stan. He lowered his staff, but his guard did not lower.

“Kyle!” Stan gasped. “They're here.”

Shit. Kyle's eyes widened, and he nodded. He slid out of bed, shrugging on his robes and slipping into whatever shoes were nearby. It wasn't perfect, but it would have to do. He had no time. He grabbed the staff he had thrown by his nightstand and ran out with Stan. He knew he shouldn't have been fighting, but he couldn't sit back and do nothing. He had a kingdom to fight for, and he wasn't a coward. He would never stand down.

Thankfully, no one had gotten inside the building. Not yet, at least. Where was Eric? He couldn't have been asleep - there was no way he would miss the chance of playing hero and gaining the adoration of his people. Kyle followed Stan outside, where the battle had already begun.

Swords clashed against sword and arrows hit into shields, and men cried out as they fought. They struck their foes without a second thought, hoping that, in the sheet of darkness, it was not a friend. Kyle couldn't recognise anyone, not at first. But as his eyes became accustomed to the darkness, he could see.

Kyle finally spotted Eric, hiding up on the balcony to cast. What a cowardly human. Kyle would show him how it was done.

The archers moved on Eric's command, something Kyle resented, but he didn't have time to argue against. His mind was elsewhere.  This time, he would focus on keeping himself alive - there would be no more incidents. The ache in his back piped up again, and it took everything within Kyle not to scream. Now was not the time. He could bite it back.

Though he was tired, Kyle did not falter. His body threatened to give way, but his spirit stood strong. Using magic sapped his already-limited energy. It didn’t matter. Nothing else mattered right now. Kyle could sleep it off later, he told himself.

A blood elf tried to get Kyle from behind, but Stan had spotted him. Kyle was lucky. He plunged his blade into the attacker’s heart, and the elf groaned. He looked Kyle in the eye before he fell, but something in his stare felt wrong. His eyes felt lifeless when they looked at Kyle. Kyle had seen the eyes of a dying man, even the eyes of a dead man. These were the eyes of neither.

“Look out!”

Stan shoved Kyle out of the way, taking an incoming arrow with his shield. Stan glared at Kyle, and he was right to be mad. He should have been paying attention. The enemy numbers were thinning out, and that was when Kyle needed to be at his most focused.

The battle felt easy, too easy. None of the bodies wore his or Eric’s colours - they all wore Clyde’s dark purple. One by one, they all fell, until Kyle and his army were victorious. Exhausted, Kyle fell to one knee, his breath ragged. This wasn’t what he needed. Kyle examined one of the blood elf bodies beside him, and there was something telling him this wasn’t quite right.

Kyle reached over, touching the fallen elf’s cheek. Her skin felt strange, like touching damp dirt. As he ran his hand on her face, her skin began to melt away.

“Jesus fucking Christ!” Kyle gasped - a human expression he had unfortunately internalised.

He fell back on his ass, scuttering away from the corpse. Corpses didn’t do that, regardless of age. He had seen his grandmother’s body weeks after she had died, when Eric had been disgusting enough to dig her back up. Even then, her body was not like this. Flesh did not fall from bone. His heart pounded in his chest, breath caught in his throat. He couldn’t breathe, he couldn’t even think.

“What the fuck!” Kyle said.

“Dude, what?” Stan asked.

He approached slowly, just in time to hear footsteps crunching from behind Kyle. Eric, no doubt. It didn’t matter to Kyle right now. He held out his shaking hand, pointing over to the body he had touched. Eric crouched down, holding fire in his hand as makeshift light. He inhaled sharply, looking over at Kyle and almost dropping the ball of fire.

“Oh my God,” he whispered.

“Corpses don't do that!” Kyle barked. “They don't just melt away like-- like wet clay!”

Kyle was cold, shivering. He gripped handfuls of the dirt below, the feeling somewhat soothing him. It was dry, and did not remind him of what he had just seen. Stan and Eric didn't know what to make of this. This was something unlike anything they had seen before. Even Eric was silent, something that only served to worry Kyle more.

“Come on, it's been a long night,” Stan said.

“Don't try to tell me I'm seeing things. I know the difference between exhausted hallucinations and this, Stan,” Kyle said.

Stan sighed. “Okay. So maybe it’s real. But…” But Kyle was injured, and weak, and they both knew it. Stan had the decency not to say it in front of Eric. “But you can’t deal with this right now. Let us deal with it.”

Kyle wanted to argue, but there was no point. He wasn’t in the mood to argue. “Fine.” He could wait until Stan’s back was turned. He turned to Eric. “Goodnight, Eric,” he mumbled reluctantly, before getting up and following Stan back inside.

Kyle wasn’t going to sleep that night. He knew that as he made his way up the steps to his room. The adrenaline was keeping him awake, fuelled by the memory of what he had seen. His legs were shaky, barely willing to support him. He couldn’t stop thinking about it. How many of those bodies would melt? What was going on?

Stan led him back to his room, even if Kyle did not want to go. Someone would look into what happened - there were better researchers in Kupa Keep and the elven forest than Kyle, after all. He couldn’t begin to imagine what he was looking at. But he should have been the one out there, investigating it. As if sensing his thoughts, Stan shot him an unimpressed look.  He knew he shouldn’t go out there, but Kyle hated feeling like he wasn’t doing anything.

When they reached Kyle’s room, Stan excused himself, giving him a short bow before leaving. Kyle waited until Stan had long gone, hoping he wouldn’t have been waiting around the corner. As soon as he was certain, he slowly made his way through the palace. He wasn’t going to sleep, and he would achieve nothing by lying in bed alone, left to his own thoughts. He would rather be awake and alone, instead.

Unfortunately, Kyle wasn’t alone for long.

There was a quiet rush among the palace as mages woke from their slumber and rushed outside to check the bodies. They all wanted a piece of the action, it seemed. Whether they were in it for the glory or for genuine reasons, Kyle didn’t know. It didn’t matter, either, so long as they got to the bottom of this.

He saw Eric coming back inside, holding his hat against his chest and fiddling with the brim. He was shaking, his eyes closed, taking a deep breath. He opened his eyes slowly, but as soon as he saw Kyle, he froze for a moment. He shoved his hat back on his head.

“Kyle,” Eric said, laughing a little.

Kyle could have ignored him and walked past him. He could have made idle pleasantries when neither of them felt like it. But he didn’t want either of those options.

“What the hell do we do?” Kyle asked, running a hand through his hair.

Eric closed his eyes again. “Hell if I know. The mage researchers are out there taking a look, but who knows if they’ll find anything.”

Silence. Kyle covered his face with his hand, sighing between his fingers. Eric rubbed his eyes, tiredness weighing down on him. Eric looked as tired as Kyle felt. It felt like no one was going to be sleeping tonight.

“Go to bed, Kyle. You’re probably fucked after that.”

“Don’t pretend you care,” Kyle sneered.

He would’ve apologised if he didn’t mean it. He turned on his heel and walked away. There was no need to be rude, but Kyle could apologise in the morning. If he felt like it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Groaaaaaans. I've completely changed what I wanted to do with this, and it's totally obvious. I might need to take a little break to reconfigure how I'm gonna do this, but now I kinda know?? Ugh. I think I'm burning myself out trying to do too much at once. This is only meant to be a back-burner project but here I am, stressing myself out. This is the first fic I've written in years with a clear actual villain, so I'm kinda... lost. Don't mind me. No I'm not looking for concrit on this or advice lol
> 
> Anyway check me out on [Tumblr](http://vehicroids.tumblr.com)! Or come talk to me on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/vehicroids)!


	6. Chapter 6

The war between drow elves and humans wasn't constant. There had been times of peace when Kyle and Eric were younger, though those times didn't last for long. Sheila was a self righteous woman, while Liane… well, one could argue her moral standing. But in times of peace, the two races retained a rather friendly relationship.

It was how Kyle and Eric had met, and how Kyle had met Stan.

Stan was the son of a Lord - a known drunk, whose wife was nothing short of embarrassed by him. As such, he was invited to all of the gatherings held at the palace, including times when the elves visited. For years, it was only Eric, Kenny and Stan, and Eric thought it would always be like this.

They were young teenagers at the time. Eric had already clung to Stan as a friend, whether he liked it or not - looking back, Stan didn’t like it at all. There was no one else their age to talk to, bar the strange son of the local priest. Eric refused to talk to him. Instead, he was stuck with the princess and with Stan. They were his friends - or, rather, the princess was only friends with him because she was adopted and had to be, but that was neither here nor there.

Stan's attention was elsewhere while Eric was talking. Eric followed his eyes and spotted the Prince of the elves himself - Kyle. Eric had seen him before, but there was something about him. Perhaps it was the way his wild hair curled, untameable. Maybe it was how he held himself, with his back straight and his chin high. Eric didn't know, but he was cute as hell, even back then.

He didn't even get the chance to say anything before Stan was over there, talking to Kyle. Eric's jaw dropped - how dare either of them speak to someone who wasn't him? Kenny nudged him in the ribs with a grin.

“Instead of being a baby, you should talk to him,” she hummed.

Did she know? No, of course not. She meant Stan, not Kyle, right? Whatever. Eric cleaned his throat as he went over. They were laughing about something, and he felt a little uneasy. They weren't laughing at him. Eric was way too cool for that.

“I don't think we've ever been introduced,” Eric said, interrupting the conversation.

Stan looked at him in a manner that screamed  _ what the hell are you doing _ ? Eric, of course, ignored him and his eyes that screamed for mercy. He held out his hand to Kyle, who simply grimaced.

“I am--"

“I know who you are, and I'm not interested.”

Kyle folded his arms over his chest, staring at Eric in silence. Stan sighed, clearly caught in the middle of what would be one of many spats.

“Alright, come on, let's keep it civil,” Stan said.

Kyle turned his attention to Stan, more relaxed. “You're right, so I'm choosing to walk away. Coming?”

Stan looked at Kyle, then at Eric. He looked at Eric apologetically before walking off with Kyle. Eric absolutely could not believe this betrayal.

“Oh yeah? Well, screw you guys, I don't need you!” Eric yelled. He felt a hand on his shoulder - Kenny's.

“It went that well?” she laughed. “Don't worry about it. You know how elves are.”

Elves were sneaky, friend stealing assholes. But when push came to shove, Stan would stand with Eric. He was certain.

***

Ike arrived on a dreary evening, after a day of endless rain. He came with an army of his own, and Kyle didn't know which he was glad to see more. He loved his brother, but they needed support now more than ever. He sighed softly, rushing over to Ike and pulling him into a soft hug. Ike squeezed him - his hugs were always too strong, but with Kyle weakened lately, it crushed him.

“Shit--" Kyle hissed quietly, taking a deep breath before collecting himself.

Like hell would he let his little brother worry about him. Kyle could take his crushing hugs before, and he could now, injured or not, even if it felt like daggers going into his back every time. He pulled away, and Ike put his hands on his shoulders with a smile.

“I can't believe I missed your wedding,” he frowned.

“You didn't miss a lot,” Kyle said, shrugging.

Things might have gone better were Ike and his army there, but Kyle wouldn't say that. He refused to mention the attack on that day, or his near death. There were some things better left unsaid. Ike looked around.

“Where's the husband?”

“I don't know, and I don't care,” Kyle said. “He's an asshole, and you're gonna hate him.”

“If you hate him, I'll love him,” Ike said.

With that, Ike was gone to find Eric. This could only end badly. Kyle had to follow, just in case things went sour. He knew Eric, and he knew he would say something so stupid it would end their alliance. Ike was opinionated, and that would only end in disaster. Kyle knew where Eric would likely be - the war room. He led Ike there without a word.

As expected, Eric was looking over maps and battle formations in the war room. Leopold was by his side, anxiously rubbing his knuckles as he watched and offered suggestions. His eyes lit up when he saw someone else enter the room, though he frowned when he saw Kyle. He gave Leopold a thin smile, before looking at Eric, who refused to look up.

“Eric.” The cold tone made him finally look up at the brothers. “This is Ike, my brother.”

Eric looked between the two of them, as if trying to make a connection between the brothers. Kyle was used to this, as enough people had told him they did not look alike. He finally stood up straight, approaching the pair and holding out his hand for Ike to shake. Kyle was surprised to see Eric extend some kind of courtesy. Maybe he finally understood how important this was. Ike took his hand with a smile.

“I am the great wizard, the king of Kupa Keep, Eric. You can call me the great wizard, your majesty, or the wizard king,” he said. “Or your greatness.”

Kyle groaned. He just had to try to big himself up more than he needed to.

“Or Eric,” Ike said with a hum.

Eric sighed, already annoyed. “No.”

“I prefer calling you Eric.”

They stared at each other in silence, and Kyle wanted to die. Five minutes in, and the pair had already angered each other. Ike had no jurisdiction here, but that did not mean he would listen to Eric. If there was one thing the brothers shared, it was their stubbornness.

“Alright, that's enough. You,” Kyle pointed at Eric, “can shut the hell up. And you,” he pointed at Ike, “need to behave yourself.”

Ike snorted. “Alright,  _ Mom _ .”

Kyle refused to react. Ike knew what he was doing, especially with that stupid smile on his face. Kyle could still hear his father's taunts.  _ You're just like your mother _ \- which, admittedly, was better than being like Gerald.  _ You don't want to be like Kyle, do you, Ike? _ That one in particular made his jaw clench.

“Make yourself at home, but don't start stupid fights,” Kyle said before leaving the room.

He knew he should have kept an eye on Ike, but he knew that watching him would encourage him to start something. The three of them could start planning in the morning, after Ike had rested from travelling. Kyle didn't want to deal with it right now, he needed a few minutes alone. He didn't have the mental strength. He rubbed his temples, going back to his own devices.

They were due to have dinner together, almost as a family. Kyle considered not going, but unless he wanted a fight, he had to go. He couldn't push Eric out of dinner no matter how much he wanted to - if there was one thing that man was insistent on, it was food. Instead, Kyle was forced to endure a dinner he would rather stab himself than go to.

The dinner table was silent. Cutlery clicked against crockery, and looks were exchanged. Here they were, royals from three different kingdoms, sat in awkward silence. It was better than arguing, but it was uncomfortable to sit through regardless.

“So, uh, how's Canada?” Kyle asked. He saw Eric frown, and Kyle did not care.

“Cold. Better than this temperamental old forest, though,” Ike laughed.

It wasn’t temperamental anymore, not when the weather never changed. It was cloudy, or raining, with no variation. It was nearly always cold, always miserable.

“This is why I like Kupa Keep more,” Eric mumbled under his breath.

_ Here we go _ . Kyle pinched the bridge of his nose. He didn't want to hear about the superiority of humans, or how much of a supposed hole Canada was.

“Don't start,” Kyle sighed. 

“I wasn't gonna!”

They couldn't even go five minutes without arguing. Kyle brought his hands over his face, inhaling deeply. Soon he wouldn't have to deal with this - he would either be dead or free of Eric in some other way.

***

Rain hammered down the next morning. Kyle sighed. It was nothing new, but the weather was depressing him more and more with every passing day. He dressed himself and made himself look presentable before leaving his room.

Eric and Ike would be waiting in the war room for him, but if he was honest, he didn't want to join them. Perhaps he could have gone for a walk, and in turn, completely avoided the war room. No such luck as Ike came looking for him. He knew damn well Kyle would try to get out of this somehow. He smiled, too cocky for his own good. Kyle frowned.

“I'm coming, you don't need to fetch me,” Kyle grumbled. Ike looked at him. “Don't.”

“Good, because you'll want to see this,” Ike said.

Kyle was curious, but no less annoyed. He followed Ike, who unfortunately led him to Eric. He was examining a jar of dirt like it contained the secrets of the universe, shaking it a little. The dirt did not move.

“Good morning,” Kyle said.

Eric looked over at him, putting the jar down. “Ah, here you are. Good.”

“Ike said there's something I'll want to see. What is it?”

Eric gestured to the jar he had just put down. Kyle picked it up. It looked like regular clay, perhaps a little heavier and a little darker. Kyle shook it, and again, it did not move. Even tilted upside down, it stayed clinging to the bottom.

“Magic dirt. Great. Are you done wasting my time?”

“Stop being defensive for a minute. It's not just any dirt. This is some of what was collected from the bodies that night,” Eric said.

Now that caught Kyle's attention. He wanted to take it out of the jar and hold it, but something told him that was a bad idea. He didn’t want it to melt away or, worse, form another blood elf.

“So, what? They're making minions out of clay? That stick can do anything, and they're just making clay people?” Kyle asked.

“Maybe they're too stupid to do more than that,” Eric said, “or maybe they're using the energy from the stick for something bigger.”

“So, what, like they're trying to lower our guard with the little shits?” Kyle said.

“Yeah, that's what we're thinking,” Ike said.

Kyle stared into the clay for a little while longer, waiting for it to do something. He remembered that body disintegrating to the touch and had to try not to gag. He put the jar down and looked at literally anything else.

“What do we do?” Kyle asked.

“We keep training, and we stay prepared,” Eric said. “They can strike any time.”

“How will we know if it's real or not? For all we know, they could keep sending decoy armies forever.”

Eric paused, scratching his chin in thought. He grabbed the jar again, examining the dirt once more. Then, he looked at Kyle.

“It only took one blow to knock them down,” he said, “so a strong enough rainstorm should get rid of them.”

As if on cue, Kyle could hear the rain outside grow heavier - it was trying to tell them something. Kyle was never great at controlling the forest, however. It had a will of its own for the most part, and short of forcing Kyle into a permanent depression, this plan would never work. Then again, he felt like he was already there.

“And if not?” Kyle asked.

Eric snorted like it was obvious. “We start killing.”

***

Clyde and Bebe's armies kept coming back, day after day. Luckily for Kyle and Eric, they were clay zombies. Luckier still, Eric was right, and rain was just enough to melt the bodies away. There was nothing more horrifying than standing on the balcony and watching bodies melt back into the earth, like brown sludge. It sent a shiver down Kyle's spine every time.

Eric was always there, and Kyle wouldn't admit it, but he appreciated the support. He said nothing when it was over, turning on his heels and leaving Eric alone. Kyle didn’t want to talk about it, didn’t want to think about it more than he had to.

It was taxing, both mentally and physically, to try and make the forest listen to him. But the forces kept coming, and Kyle kept trying. They had nothing else, bar sending out their own troops. He gripped the edge of the balcony, watching and fighting to keep upright. His body was shaking, but he hadn’t noticed.

Eric put a hand on his.

“Kyle.” Maybe Kyle was tired, maybe he was hearing things, but there was a gentleness to Eric's voice. “You've been overworking yourself.”

He was right, but he wasn't supposed to know. Kyle thought he was hiding it better. He looked on ahead, but there was nothing to look out for. He leaned on the wall.

“I'm fine. This is the easiest way of doing things,” Kyle sighed.

“Bullshit. All you've been doing is killing yourself ever since I got here. I know you're not normally this stupid and careless.” Eric folded his arms. “Who are you and what have you done with Kyle?”

“I wasn't scared of you. You're nothing compared to this,” Kyle spat.

“And you don't think you should be at full strength instead of wasting all your energy?”

Kyle huffed. He pinched the bridge of his nose, trying to keep his mind sharp enough to argue, but he couldn’t. He was fucking exhausted. He looked over at Eric.

“Then what do you want to do?” Kyle asked.

“Look, it doesn't hurt to just take a break and let us take over,” Eric said.

It did hurt. Kyle's pride refused to take that kind of beating. But as ever, Eric was right, and Kyle needed a break. If he kept going, he would have nothing left when Clyde did come.

“Fine. I'm lying down for half an hour. Anything happens, and you'll come and get me,” Kyle said. It was not a request.

Eric rolled his eyes, but said nothing else. Kyle finally moved away from the balcony, but his jellied legs gave way under him. Eric caught him just in time, and he wrapped Kyle's arm around his shoulder.

“I'll take you to bed,” Eric said.

Kyle would have argued, but he was too exhausted. He nodded, letting Eric drag him to his room. He mumbled thanks to Eric before getting into bed, and he fell asleep nearly immediately.

“Your majesty.”

He woke up in darkness to a voice he knew. He opened his eyes, but his body couldn't move. Someone was in his room, but he couldn't see who. He blinked, and as his eyes focused, he realised who it was. Clyde's teeth glimmered in the darkness as he smirked.

“Are you scared? You should be.” He sat on the side of Kyle's bed, holding his face in his cheek. “You and that fat piece of shit aren’t going to stop me.”

Kyle tried to scream for help, but no sound escaped from his throat. His body was frozen still - was this sleep paralysis, or was this really Clyde? He stared at Clyde, wide eyed. He wasn't scared of Clyde, he told himself. But when he was right there, and Kyle was helpless against him, he couldn't deny the fear.

He squeezed his eyes shut. If this was how he was going to die, he didn’t want to see it.

“Kyle!”

He opened his eyes at the new voice, and saw only Eric at his door. It was then that Kyle caught his own voice, screaming for help. He held his hands over his mouth, staring at Eric wide-eyed. How long had he been screaming for?

“What the hell?” Eric asked.

“You--" Kyle gulped, trying to find his voice. “You were supposed to wake me up.”

Eric shook his head and ignored the comment. “What happened? Why were you screaming?”

“Clyde was right there! He touched my face, and..."

Kyle shuddered. It was a dream, he slowly realised it had to be a dream. Clyde wasn't here, not yet. If he was, Kyle would have been dead. Eric closed the door, and Kyle thought he was gone until he could still see his silhouette.

“What, are gonna laugh at me?” Kyle scoffed.

“You think you're the only one having nightmares? I have nightmares almost every night, Kyle. I'm fucking terrified, and you're not helping,” Eric said.

Kyle had been digging his heels in so hard that he failed to see the bigger picture. He wasn't the only one in all of this, and he had lost sight of that.

He got up, standing on his still weak legs, and walked over to him.

“I'm sorry. I've been selfish. You needed a partner, not… me,” Kyle said.

Kyle opened his arms to offer a hug, like a peace offering. Eric hesitated, before moving into the hug and holding Kyle tight. Kyle closed his eyes, running Eric's back.

“I'm sorry. I'll be more there from now on,” he said.

Eric sighed. “Took you long enough."

Kyle had that one coming, so he kept his mouth shut. Eric pulled away from the embrace first and left the room, leaving Kyle alone to contemplate what just happened. Eric was warm and surprisingly nice to hug. Kyle shook his head. His thoughts were all over the place after seeing Clyde in his dreams. He got back into bed, pretending none of that ever happened.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> LMAO I'm sticking to a schedule... who am I? Also ignore me retconning some shit - you do have to remember this was started with like 0.5 planning
> 
> Come check me out on [Tumblr!](http://vehicroids.tumblr.com)


	7. Chapter 7

Stan eventually returned by himself, smiling until he saw Eric was frowning. Stan frowned with him, but he didn't seem to feel guilty for running off with Kyle

“Stan, what the hell?” Eric asked, folding his arms over his chest.

Stan shrugged. “What? We just got talking, and he wanted me to show him around.”

Eric couldn't explain how he felt. Jealous? Angry? Betrayed - that had to be it. Why weren't they hanging out with him? What was wrong with Eric? He shook of those thoughts. There was nothing wrong with him, he was amazing.

“You're just gonna trust some  _ elf _ ?”

“Dude, calm down, it's not like I'm asking him to run away with me or something,” Stan said, rolling his eyes.

“Elves are sneaky!” Eric said.

“They're not sneaky, you're just jealous and racist.”

The accusation made Eric's blood boil. Stan was right, but to Eric, his racism was not without reason. The elves had been trying to kill humans for a thousand years, all for a stick they had  _ no _ rights to. In Eric's mind, hating them was not racist.

It was, but nothing would convince him otherwise.

“Why are you hanging out with him?” Eric asked.

“I-- what? Because I can have friends?”

Stan was baffled, and while he had every right to be, Eric didn't understand why. He threw his arms up in exasperation.

“But it's an elf!”

“If you actually talked to  _ him _ , you'd know elves are fine,” Stan sighed.

Eric  _ did _ try to talk to him, but Kyle rejected him. Eric wasn't going to remind Stan - fuck being vulnerable for just a moment. He huffed.

“Don't forget that when this truce is over, he'll turn on you,” Eric said.

Stan went quiet for a moment, but rolled his eyes again. “Dude. Shut the hell up.”

***

For everyone's peace of mind, Kyle and Eric decided to increase security. While Kyle knew what he saw was a dream - there was no way that was Clyde - that didn't settle his nerves. He didn't sleep at night anymore, knowing that war was imminent, knowing there was a chance Clyde would break in.

He wondered how Eric was doing, and if seeing him that night really did happen. Eric felt real in his arms, but so did Clyde's hand on his face. Either both were real, or neither of them were, and Kyle preferred the latter. He didn't know why he would have been dreaming of Eric, maybe out of guilt. He wasn't the best partner, and perhaps he should have cared.

Wait, no, Kyle didn't give a shit.

Regardless, e couldn't stop thinking about the hug. He had imagined it, he had to. Eric Cartman never showed even an ounce of vulnerability. Seeing him felt different now, but maybe Kyle was imagining it. No, he was  _ definitely _ imagining it.

Maybe Kyle just wished it was different, and that's why he thought Eric looked at him with softer eyes. Kyle wanted things to be that way, so he was imagining it for himself. Kyle caught himself. No, that was not it  _ at all _ . He grumbled and busied himself to clear his head - he could not have thoughts like that, not now.

He wanted to avoid Eric, but wasn't like there was anywhere to go except lock himself in his room, and he knew that was just a little too obvious. His head was just confused after that  night, and he needed to clear it. There was only one way of doing that.

He went to find Eric, who was discussing something with Scott. Upon spotting Kyle, Eric stopped talking, and Scott left with a short bow. Kyle went over, and Eric frowned.

“Eric. Do you have a second?” Kyle asked.

“Yeah. What is it?”

Kyle shook his head. “Not here. Come take a walk with me.”

Eric looked suspicious, but he nodded. He followed Kyle out to the forest - no rain today, though the clouds were thick overhead. Kyle crossed his arms as they walked, holding himself. He didn't know where to start, if he should even start. He looked up at the sky.

“The other night,” he said. “Real or fake?”

Eric paused. From the corner of his eye, Kyle saw Eric looking at him, confused. Then, he sighed.

“The night you saw Clyde?” Eric asked, and Kyle nodded.

“I don't know if Clyde was real, and honestly? I don't wanna know. That's not what I'm asking. Just… were you really there?”

Another pause - longer and more uncomfortable as the memory refreshed itself in both of their minds. Kyle still couldn't believe he had hugged him. He couldn't believe Eric accepted his embrace.

“What, losing touch with reality?” Eric laughed. When Kyle didn't laugh with him, Eric was more serious. “... Yeah. You were screaming like a little bitch, I thought you were in trouble.”

He laughed again, more insincerely this time. Kyle turned to face Eric, frowning.

“Do  _ not _ bullshit me. Don't try to tell me I'm the only one who's scared now, when I know--"

Eric covered Kyle's mouth. “I thought you were smarter than to actually  _ say  _ it.”

Kyle moved Eric's hand away with a sneer. “Why is it one step forward and three steps back with you?”

“I don't know, Kyle, why is it always like that with you?” Eric scoffed.

Kyle took a step closer to Eric. Maybe he hadn't made the effort he should have done before, but that didn't give Eric the right to be an asshole.

“You don't get to open the door then slam it shut again,” Kyle said, jabbing his finger into Eric's ribs. “Last chance. Either we're open with each other or we're not. We need to know where we stand, because I can't do this stress, Eric, and I know you can't either.”

“So now you wanna be friends?” Eric asked.

Kyle could have torn his hair out. “Fine, I don't care anymore. It's not my problem. Your feelings are your feelings, and you can have fun talking to the damn wall about them.”

He knew very well Eric had Leopold, and Kyle knew he had Stan. Neither of them were alone, but he had hoped they could at least find solidarity in the fact they were both in the same position. Fuck it, Kyle didn't care anymore. Why he thought any of this was a good idea was beyond him.

He turned to walk away, but Eric grabbed his wrist. Kyle balled his hand into a fist, ready to explode, but Eric spoke.

“Alright, fine, but this is rich from Mr Emotional Constipation,” Eric snorted. “Yeah, I meant what I said. I'm terrified, and you being a drama king is not helpful.”

Kyle sighed. “That's why I wanted to talk to you about this.”

Eric let him go, and Kyle turned to him once again. He looked at anything except Kyle - was he embarrassed? Eric was always so unreadable, and it was a source of endless frustrations for Kyle.

“I said I'd be there for you more, but it still feels like there's a barrier. I don't know if it's you, me or both of us, but I wanna fix it,” Kyle said.

“It's on you, Kyle, it's always been on you.”

“You can't blame me, not when you're the one who's held onto a grudge from ten years--”

An arrow cut through between them, and the pair split. It hit the ground by their feet, but Kyle knew that arrow wasn't aimed to hit either of them. He looked in the direction of the shot, but no one was there. He blinked - an illusion?

Something hissed by his feet, and Kyle looked down. His eyes widened in horror as he stepped back: a snake slithered by his feet. Where the fuck did the snake come from? Eric had the right sense and stamped on it with his boot. It disintegrated, turning into the gloopy mess they had seen before. Kyle's heart stopped.

“They're trying to scare us, and it's not working,” Kyle said.

He tried hard not to betray the shaking in his voice, but all he could see in his mind were bodies melting like ice cream on a hot day. Eric touched the back of his hand, bringing him back to reality.

“Kyle. We have to go back.  _ Now, _ ” Eric said.

Kyle nodded, leading the rush back home. They hadn't gone far - Kyle wasn't stupid enough to take them far - but the fear kept him running. They got back home and there was nothing out of place. People stopped, staring at Eric and Kyle as if they had lost their minds. Kyle looked around for  _ something _ , but he couldn't see anything. He glanced at Eric, who seemed to be thinking the same thing. Nothing was wrong. Kyle felt more unnerved than relieved.

“Your Highness?” Stan asked, glancing between them.

Kyle stood up straight, like he hadn't felt fear coursing through his body. He held his arms behind his back, his head held high.

“Yes?” Kyle said.

Stan frowned. “I... Nothing. Welcome back.”

He bowed respectfully, before excusing himself. Kyle led Eric inside and to the war room, closing the door behind them. He took off his crown and threw it onto the table. His hands covered his face and he took a deep breath.

“They're trying to psych us out, and I know that, but it's  _ working _ ,” Kyle mumbled into his hands. “What do we do? Pretend it's okay and quietly keep increasing security? Because that sounds fucking paranoid.”

Kyle  _ was _ paranoid, but he wasn't telling Eric that. Not now, not ever. He ran his hand through his hair and tugged at his curls, the stress boiling inside like a volcano. Eric put his hands on Kyle's shoulders.

“Kyle!” Eric snapped, and Kyle looked into his eyes. “This is exactly what they want. We can't let them psych us out.”

“Too late. I'm freaking out, because this is  _ fucked up _ . I'm constantly worried we're going to die, we'll get ambushed, or that something is gonna happen to someone I give a shit about.”

Eric shook him gently, like the sense would come out if he did. “Then we don't give a shit.”

Kyle didn't know how Eric could act like he didn't care. What sort of hardened heart did he have? Kyle released his hair and had to force himself to calm down.

“How? How do you just not give a shit?” Kyle asked.

Eric stepped away. “Like this.”

He turned to the table, looking over maps. He moved little pieces around and hummed to himself. Kyle walked over to the table and pressed his palms flat on the surface, fighting the urge to yell.

“You're shitting me.”

“I'm not. Acting like a chick with sand in her vagina isn't gonna solve anything,” Eric shrugged.

Kyle's hands formed into fists on the table. “And not giving a shit helps because…?”

“Think about it for a second. If they're trying to psych us out, do you really want to show that you're having a panic attack?” Eric looked up. “You're falling apart, and if you show it, they'll use it against you.”

Kyle hissed a sigh. He could pretend to be fine in public, but in private? No way. He was going to explode if he didn't have a stress outlet of some kind.

He looked at Eric, whose focus went back to the map. He couldn't keep fighting against him - though the arguments helped, it wasn't fair on either of them. Kyle promised to be there for Eric, and he wasn't about to take that back. He kept watching him silently, and he wondered if Eric knew he was still there.

He must have felt the stress with Kyle, there was no way it was just him. There had to be a way to diffuse stress without anyone else knowing, because this was killing Kyle.

Eric glanced up, and it was like the answer revealed itself. His eyes - one brown and one blue, which was always strangely attractive to him - blinked in confusion. His lips were slightly parted, inviting Kyle in. Screw it. No one else had to know.

Kyle grabbed him by the front of his robes, and for a brief moment, a voice inside his head told him to reconsider. The voice was silenced when his lips connected with Eric's.

He expected Eric to push him away and yell at him, but he didn't. Instead, he grabbed Kyle by his hips and pulled him closer. The kiss was desperate and sloppy, their teeth clashing as they fought to get closer to each other. They broke the kiss for a moment to shove the maps and figures off the table, only for their lips to crash together again. Kyle sat on the table, with Eric placing himself between his legs.

This would do for stress relief.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not big on this chapter? Eh.
> 
> This one is early because of Stenny Week, which is starting tomorrow. Also, no update next month as I'm doing NaNoWriMo! So, yeah. :'D
> 
> Come follow me on [Tumblr!](http://vehicroids.tumblr.com)


	8. Chapter 8

Eric was sixteen when Liane passed away. She was hardly a mother - he refused to call her that, even to this day - but it hurt all the same. He tried not to let it show, never one for sincere emotions, but his heart was broken. It hurt to realise that he would never see her again.

There was one thing that kept Eric from crying: his coronation.

It was shallow, he certainly wouldn't deny it, but it was the only thing keeping his head above water. So whatever, he was going to enjoy being king. Kenny was a little bitter, but she stood no chance at the throne even if Eric was out of the picture. It didn't help that Eric shoved it into her face.

Eric invited everyone he could think of to the coronation, though all that mattered to him was the drow elves. Specifically, all he cared about was the elven prince. Kyle may not have turned up; Gerald had been missing for a couple of months, so the elves’ focus was taken by that. If Kyle didn't turn up, he would have been a selfish asshole.

“You hate elves,” Stan reminded him as Eric wrote a personalised invite to Kyle.

Eric brought the feathered end of the quill to his lips, humming, before going back to writing. He wasn't dignifying that with a response.

“I'm talking to you.”

He looked up at Stan - he was one of the few people who could get away with talking to him like that. He put the quill down; might as well let the ink dry for a moment.

“It's polite,” Eric said.

“You don't give a shit about manners. What are you doing?”

Eric didn't know. Even if he did know, he wasn't going to tell Stan. There was something about Kyle that called Eric to him, beckoning him to chase after him. He couldn't explain it, and thus, he wouldn't try. Stan wouldn't have understood. 

“You've got balls disrespecting your king.”

“You're not a king yet, and you don't really give a shit. Just tell me what's going on.”

Stan wasn't going to go without an explanation, but no one said it had to be truthful. Good thing Eric was the king of bullshit.

“I wanna know what the elves are up to.”

Stan rolled his eyes. “They're not doing anything, you're just paranoid.”

Eric didn't say anything - Stan bought it. He hid his satisfied smile as he finished off Kyle's invitation.

***

Kyle had made a mistake - a huge, Eric-shaped mistake. He quickly dressed himself, embarrassed. He couldn't believe himself. He wasn't thinking, but that didn't make it any better. He said nothing when he left. He wasn't sure he would ever be able to face Eric again.

He wasn't attracted to Eric. Kyle couldn't stand Eric. That was a lie; Eric was a lot nicer in recent times. Kyle shook his head - no way, he wasn't going to start thinking like that. Eric was fine, but not fine enough to want, especially not sexually. Kyle wanted to die. Where was Clyde when he needed him?

“Kyle!” Ike called.

Kyle stopped, though he didn't want to. Ike was going to see through him and know what happened. Ike ran over, but frowned upon looking at Kyle.

“You look tense,” he said.

Kyle swallowed, trying to moisten his throat. He felt like he was on trial. He readjusted his robe.

“I'm fine. What is it?” Kyle asked.

“You sure you're fine? I think you need to get lai--”

“We're done here.”

Kyle turned on his heel and ran back to his room. He wanted to die. Maybe the universe would grant him that one wish.

***

Eric was king. Kupa Keep rejoiced: they had a strong leader once again. He knew he was the king Kupa Keep deserved, and anyone who doubted him would have been proven wrong.

Stan seemed to be one of those sceptics. He was more distant lately, preferring the company of a paladin than a king. Butters had  _ no right _ taking Stan away, though maybe it was Eric's fault for taking him in. No, it wasn't his fault - it was Stan's fault for getting friendly with him.

To his surprise, Kyle was at his coronation, along with his bitch of a mother. She wore black, which Eric thought was distasteful until he realised what this meant. He didn't care. Gerald passing was a victory to Eric.

“Kyle,” he said as he approached the elven prince. “Good to see you. I'm sorry about your father.”

“Save it, you're not sorry.” Kyle folded his arms over his chest. “I know what you think of me and my family, I'm not stupid. I didn't come here for your coronation, I came here to tell you to stop being a racist asshole.”

So Kyle  _ had _ come for Eric. He wasn't there for Stan, nor anyone else. He had to hide his giddy smile, lest Kyle thinks Eric wanted him there.

“I don't know what you mean.”

“Elves aren't sneaky. We aren't here to steal your money, or your stupid stick. We don't care, and I especially don't care,” Kyle said.

That was a lie. Who wouldn't care about the Stick of Truth? A liar - and a bad one at that. Of course the elves cared, and of course Kyle cared.

“And you came all the way out here for something you could have said in a letter?” Eric scoffed.

He watched the tips of Kyle's ears burn - from embarrassment or anger, either way, it was adorable.

“You ignore letters, and my mother made me come. It's two birds with one stone,” Kyle said.

Eric couldn't lie, he had been ignoring letters from Kyle - or rather, he wouldn't respond. He couldn't be bothered, he told himself, but also he loved the idea that he irritated Kyle this much. Maybe Eric was fucked up.

“Tell yourself whatever you want, but I know you're not really here for that.” Eric took a step closer. “It's okay to have feelings, Kyle.”

He heard the slap before he felt it - a sharp smack against his cheek. Normally Eric could run to Mommy to kiss it better, but he couldn't now. His skin started to sting, and he brought a hand to his face. He blinked at Kyle, too shocked to speak.

“Don't you  _ ever _ suggest something so disgusting ever again. I'd rather die than have feelings for you.”

Kyle turned on his heel and walked away. Eric didn't know what stung more - the hit or the rejection. He walked away to cry out the pain in private.

***

Kyle avoided Eric. He was true to his word and would rather die than develop feelings for him. He had considered it, how simple it would have been to die and leave it all as someone else's problem. Except he could see the problems already, of the elves rebelling against Eric, with Stan leading the charge against him. They didn't have time for uprisings, and that was the only thing keeping Kyle alive.

He didn't have feelings for Eric. He could tell himself that as much as he wanted, but he still sought Eric's comfort. He couldn't get the thought of Eric from his head, the memory of his hands through his hair as he--

Kyle couldn't think about this anymore; he was killing himself inside.

He went to find Stan - he expected the judgement, especially after the comments he had made against Leopold. Kyle didn't care about that, he needed his best friend. He found Stan by himself, and he smiled a little.

“Hey. You got a second?” Kyle asked.

“Sure, dude. What's up?”

Kyle looked around. Their close relationship was no secret, but he didn't want any rumours or eavesdropping. He kept his voice low.

“It's personal, so you can't tell anyone,” Kyle said. He knew Stan wouldn't tell anyone, but he felt better saying it. “I fucked up.”

“What did you do?”

Kyle looked up at the sky - some sun was piercing through the clouds. It wasn't a lot, but it was something. Kyle sighed.

“Eric.”

There was a moment of silence as Stan processed this. When he did, he looked at Kyle with wide eyes. Kyle couldn't look at him.

“Holy shit, dude. No way.”

“I know! I know, okay? I know.” Kyle raked his fingers through his hair. In his mind's eye he saw Eric again, and immediately released his hair.

“What were you thinking?” Stan asked.

Kyle wasn't thinking, and that was the problem. He shouldn't have told Stan; he wanted to die all over again.

“I-- I just wanted someone who understood what we're going through, I wanted closeness. I…”

_ Wanted Eric _ . Kyle would never bring himself to say the words. This wasn't happening, this couldn't be happening. Kyle wanted to tear off his own skin. Stan looked at him incredulously.

“No way,” Stan said with a little laugh. “You're falling for your own mess.”

“No!” Kyle snapped. “I'm not falling for anything or anyone. Especially not for someone like him. I thought you knew me better than that.”

“I was kidding, but wow. That's a lot of protesting for one stupid little comment.”

Kyle's resolve shrank and shrivelled like a leaf, and Stan's words were an autumn wind, hurling his resolve. Kyle wanted to say something, but he didn't. He wanted to tell Stan he was wrong, but Kyle would have only been telling himself at this point.

Now Kyle could see what had been going on, and he couldn't even blame Eric for it. He knew he had let himself fall, but he needed someone to blame. He could have blamed Eric, but really, there was only one reason that Eric and Kyle were married in the first place.

“I'm gonna kill Clyde myself if I have to,” Kyle said through gritted teeth.

“Woah, that's a jump, dude,” Stan said.

“As soon as he's gone, it's back to normal, right? We have to kill him.”

Kyle doubted things would ever go back to normal again, but he wanted to hope. Stan looked at him like he had suggested murdering Eric instead.

“We just have to increase our efforts and get rid of him.”

Kyle didn't know if he meant Clyde or Eric anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd forgotten my own schedule and almost forgot to post asdfg sorry! ... holy crap I haven't updated this since October. Stupid NaNo. (If you're wondering - yes, I did complete it! But now I've gotta rewrite the whole thing bc I hate it) Probably not my fave chapter. Ah well.
> 
> As part of Stutters week, I did a little offshoot addition for the Stutters history, which you can read [here](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16615274)
> 
> Follow my on [Tumblr!](http://vehicroids.tumblr.com)


	10. Chapter 10

Ever since that night at the coronation, Kyle did not respond to Eric's attempts at communication. No reply to the polite letters, and definitely nothing to the rude ones. He began to wonder if his men sent his letters or if they simply trashed them. If they had, Eric would not hesitate to hang them. There was no way of knowing for sure. If Eric thought he was welcome, he would have hand delivered his letters.

He couldn't believe Kyle's rudeness. He had trashed Eric at his coronation, without even the decency of sending him letters in return. What had Eric done to deserve this? Absolutely nothing, that’s what. Elves had no honour. Especially not dirty, sneaky-

“Fatass,” Stan said, interrupting Eric's thoughts. “I've got a message from the elven prince.”

That caught Eric's attention. He was no fool: he knew Stan and Kyle were communicating behind his back. He let it be, knowing that it may come in useful one day. It seemed like his day had come. Eric smiled, satisfied. He was a genius.

“What is it?”

Stan frowned hard. “He said stop sending him letters.”

Eric scoffed at that. How ridiculous. “Remind him that he's the one who came crying to me that I don't reply to letters.”

Stan groaned. To any decent person, it would have been considered unfair to treat a supposed close friend as a go between. The problem is, Eric was not a decent person. He certainly wasn't going to pretend to be a good person now, not when it brought him closer to Kyle.

“I'd tell you to tell him yourself, but I'm pretty sure he burns all letters with your crest on it,” Stan said.

“Then give me yours!” Eric snapped.

Stan held his signet ring in his hand as he took a step back. His ring bore the Marsh family's crest - Kyle would have to read Eric's letter then, thinking it was from Stan. The plan was flawless, and he couldn’t believe he hadn’t thought of it before. Stan did not agree.

“No.”

It wasn't the first time Stan had said no to Eric: in fact, Eric was used to getting no from Stan. However, this time was different. This time was an act of defiance against Eric, against their kingdom. This time,  _ no _ was not good enough.

“No? Stan, I'm asking for the ring, not your fucking firstborn.”

“I know what you're asking for. I'm not gonna deceive Kyle.”

Eric rose his eyebrows as it sunk in. “So what you're saying is your allegiance is with  _ him _ .”

Stan looked horrified for a moment, like the thought hadn't entered his head. A moment passed before Stan’s gaze hardened again. Eric had never seen him so angry.

“I think you know I am.”

“Stan, think about this for a second,” Eric said, taking a step closer. Stan recoiled. “You're making a big mistake. Turning against your people, allying with elves - for  _ what _ ?!”

“Anything is better than siding with you.”

Stan's tone was cold, glaring up at Eric. Oh yes, Stan had made himself perfectly clear. He was a traitor to humans. A traitor to  _ Eric _ . His heart sank. How could this happen to him?

“Whatever. You're no better than those filthy elves,” Eric spat.

“Better to be an elf than another minute with you,” Stan said.

He turned to the door and opened it. Eric knew it was his last chance to fix it before Stan was out that door. He wasn't sure he wanted to, but he couldn't let Stan go.

“Stan, if you walk out that door, you'll regret it.”

Stan looked over his shoulder. “All you'll do is make me regret staying.”

***

Kyle wasn't avoiding Eric, not on purpose. It was hard not to think about what they had done, the way Eric had melted against him, or the quiet moan under his breath as they...

Kyle was going to tear his hair out, hopefully tearing the memory out with it.

For stress relief, Kyle certainly did not feel any less on edge. If anything, he felt worse. There was no time for regrets; they needed to get this over and done with as soon as possible. The sooner Eric was gone, the sooner things could return to normal. All Kyle wanted was normalcy.

They ate dinner quietly. Kyle poked at it, his stomach gurgling too much to eat. He sighed, before pushing the plate away.

“I think we need to find them,” Kyle said.

Eric paused. “What?”

“Clyde and Bebe. We need to find where they are and take them out at their base.”

This would mean leaving the forest exposed. It was a dangerous and risky move, but they could not sit there defenceless forever. They needed to strike when the other two weren't expecting it. Eric held his hands over his mouth, inhaling deeply. Kyle could take a hint.

“Fine. Any other ideas?” Kyle asked, his slim patience already threatening to snap.

“Do you really think we'll get out of this alive?”

The question made Kyle pause. He looked at Eric, who looked right back at him. His face was unreadable as he studied Kyle’s face. Kyle stood, slamming his hands on the table. Eric didn't react. Kyle wanted to punch him to get some kind of reaction out of him, shake him,  _ something _ . Kyle had to try to stay composed.

“What the fuck are you talking about? This was your idea! All of it! And now you're trying to say we won't make it out alive?”

“It's pretty clear Clyde is only letting us live. Think about it for a second, Kyle. He's got the stick, and if he wanted to, he could crush us,” Eric said.

“So fucking what? You had that stupid stick before, and guess what? I still kicked your ass. We can kick Clyde's ass together. That's what you promised.”

Kyle dug his fingers into the table as he glared down at Eric. Still no reaction. Instead, he went back to cutting his dinner.

“We need to join them,” Eric said. “That's the only way.”

Kyle’s shoulders sank. “You're nothing more than a coward. I can't believe I ever believed in you.”

He all but kicked the chair over as he left the room. He had never taken Eric for a coward, but he was clearly mistaken. Eric favoured victory over doing the right thing. Kyle didn’t know what he expected.

***

Things started falling apart from then. It started with Craig, deciding that enough was enough and had left to join Clyde. When one of king Eric’s men backed down, that was enough to cause disarray among the men, and doubts began to arise. Followers became doubters, and the numbers began to thin, human and elves alike.

Kyle needed to do something, with or without Eric. His things were gathered and packed, ready to go. He debated with himself - should he tell Eric? - before realising that he had to. He left his things with Stan, before going to find Eric.

Eric was alone in the library - this was the first time Kyle hadn't found him strategising in a long time. He had truly given up. Fine. Kyle didn't need him.

“Eric.” Kyle folded his arms over his chest and tried to keep his tone even. “I don't care what you do, but we're going to do something about Clyde.” Eric didn’t respond, still reading his book. “When I come back, I want you gone. This is over. We're over.”

Eric looked at Kyle over his book then, before closing it. He put it back, taking slow strides over to Kyle. He expected Eric to beg, plead, or cry. He didn't. He was acting far too calm.

“You don't mean that,” Eric said.

“I do. I thought we’d reached an agreement, and I thought we were getting somewhere. I thought…”

What did Kyle think? His attraction had made him blind. He stepped back, fingers digging into the fabric of his robe.

“I don't care. I want you out of my forest.”

“You don't have to do this. Do you even understand the kind of power that-”

Kyle scowled. “Is that all you care about? Power? Is that why you wanted the alliance, hoping that elves had some kind of sneaky abilities?!”

Eric didn't say anything. That was answer enough to Kyle. He turned to the door.

“I'm done. Get the fuck out of my forest before I get back.”

Kyle didn't know what he expected from Eric. Better, he supposed, but that was Kyle’s fault for expecting that much.

***

Days passed since their travels began, and all Kyle could think about was Eric. The thought of him made him nauseous, but he wasn't entirely sure why. Kyle was still angry at him, and he couldn't see that changing any time soon. Or ever. Hopefully, he would leave the forest voluntarily. Right now, however, Kyle had better things to worry about.

Despite the ‘break up’, there were humans willing to follow Kyle to war. They also knew that this had to end - what did any of them have to lose? Either way, they were all dead. At least Kyle didn’t have to do this alone like he feared.

The only hint Kyle had was the forest. It guided him to where the intruders had stepped, the paths they had taken. Once they were out of the forest, their lead was gone. Kyle would have to rely on other leads. He was just lucky that he was travelling with a couple of Clyde's ex friends and comrades, who seemed to know him well enough.

Enough to lead him right to his lair.

Kyle didn't think it was that easy - it couldn't have been, surely. As the group stood near his fortress, Kyle realised it really was this easy. Clyde was just that stupid. He turned around to face the group.

“Don’t forget the plan. The priority is getting that stick away from Clyde. Got it?”

Kyle’s plan wasn’t perfect, and he wasn’t going to pretend it was. He wasn’t a strategist like Eric; hopefully, Clyde was too stupid to make a defensive plan. However, with Bebe on his side, Kyle couldn’t rely on that.

“I wouldn't be sure about that plan, Kyle.”

He knew that voice. Kyle slowly turned to face the voice: Eric. He stood with his arms folded over his chest, and Kyle stepped back. This couldn’t have been Eric, it had to be some kind of apparition from Clyde. Kyle needed to be on his guard, whatever it was.

“What the fuck are you doing here?” Kyle asked.

“You told me to get out of your forest, so I did and came here, instead. Clyde guaranteed he wouldn't kill me if I joined him.” Eric held out his hand. “Kyle, I'll forgive you if you wanted to join me. We can forget it happened.”

Kyle recoiled. He felt Stan's hand sit on his shoulder, and it took everything in him not to shove Stan. All Kyle could do was stare at Eric's hand.

“So that's it. You're with Clyde now, after being so desperate to get rid of him,” Kyle said.

“Was that really why I wanted you to marry me? Think about it.”

Kyle didn't want to think about it. There was no way there was more to the equation, more than an alliance. Horror crept up to his stomach, bile threatening to spill from his throat.

“Bullshit. You're trying to confuse me,” Kyle said.

“Maybe I'm not. Maybe for once, I'm trying to be fucking reasonable and tell you the truth. Please, Kyle, join us.”

That hand remained extended to him, a warm invitation to something Kyle did not want. He wanted Eric, but not like this. Kyle would not compromise all that they had worked for. He would not compromise his people for this.

“You…” Kyle shook his head. “ _ We _ wanted to keep everyone safe, to preserve our kingdoms. No. No way, I'm not joining you.”

Eric dropped his hand. “So you've left me no choice. I gave you a chance, Kyle.”

Kyle would never regret his choice. Not even when Eric rose his staff to him, with anger and betrayal in his eyes. Kyle would fight against him, he would give everything to keep their people -  _ his _ people - safe. Eric wanted the easy way out, then perhaps Kyle should be the one to give that to him.

There was one thing Kyle wasn't banking on: the power of the stick of truth.

Eric shot a blast, forcing the group apart. It was just one Eric, and a group of them - stick or not, he stood no chance. That was what Kyle thought until Eric slammed his staff on the ground, hard enough to make the ground shake. Kyle lost his balance and fell backwards, landing in Stan's arms.

“We have to get out of here,” Stan said.

“If we run, he'll chase us down,” Kyle said as he tried to stand again. “Take everyone else and go. I'll handle it.”

“Dude, no way!”

“Trust me, Stan, I'll be okay. You guys have to go.”

Stan sighed, but he realised he wasn't going to win this one. He gathered the others as Kyle grabbed Eric's attention.

“Hey, jackass,” Kyle said. “It's just you and me now.”

Eric smirked. “As it fucking should be.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'VE FORGOTTEN TO UPDATE THIS FOR A SOLID WEEK AAAA it's been written for a month! I'm just silly!! I'm so sorry!
> 
> Also I cut this short because there's a little more backstory to put in so instead I'm... leaving it here :3c
> 
> Anyway come bug me on [Tumblr](http://vehicroids.tumblr.com) || [Twitter](https://twitter.com/vehicroids)


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